i was going to post this friends only.... but... i don't really give a fuck.
i had to go back to douglas/alma a day early because my grandpa was in the hospital. i cannot remember a time my grandpa has been in a hospital, especially multiple days. my grandpa's prostate is all swollen and precancerous and he couldn't pee, and they refuse to remove it because it isn't quite cancerous yet.
i went to see him in the hospital and i have never seen him look so tiny and wrinkly and frail. it was so sad because this man was my only father figure. i love him so much it seriously hurts to think about him dying. he's such a wonderful person. i don't think i'll ever be able to express to him how much he means to me.
i talked to him for a while... and we stumbled on to the subject of my grandmother. my grandpa was like "i seriously don't know why she's never happy, alicia. i've given that woman all there is to give her....... i think she's crazy". i so agree with him, but i couldn't say that... i can't be like "yes grandpa, you married a psychotic bitch".
then my grandpa told me the most vile thing i've ever heard. my grandma called him crying when he was in the hospital. she told him, and i shit you not, that the only reason she didn't want him to die was because she is scared that my mom and aunt will mistreat her after he dies because they favor him.
on top of that, the entire time he was gone all she did was cry about how sick she was and take my grandpa's fucking medication. i was like "your husband is in the fucking hospital you selfish bitch! just shut up!"
i really don't see why i bother going home anymore. it just refuels that burning "i wanna kill that bitch" hatred i have of my grandma.
good stuff happened while i was down there too... but i need to stop stewing over this to post about it.