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i like my schedule this quarter. the fat annoying german kid is in…

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i like my schedule this quarter.

the fat annoying german kid is in my adv print pro class. i fear i might have to accost him with a spork.

geometry, is painfully boring, which i expected.

but my fund of web design teacher is actually kinda cool. nothing like a guy that says "fuck" in front of the class. and he joined me and kat's conversation about lotr. the subject is painful for me, but at least the teacher has a bit of life in him. it'll help keep me awake.

i have yet to see sterling, shanica, nor ian. i'm kinda sad... i was hoping with a class with at least one of them.

but, i still have art history 3 tomorrow.... so there's still a chance.

i've seriously missed school. there's just something undeniably cool about going to school everyday to create. oh, and i have a class in the G5 lab!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm so stealing one of those fuckers. omfg... that's such a sexy computer.

umm... /tangent.

being an art student has a mystique about it that i don't want to lose. i wonder if that's not part of my yearning to get a masters.

i think i'm scared of not being a student anymore.... because then shit is going to change, in a huge way. i'm seriously scared of change. i think that's something i need to work on.

i think there are a lot of things i need to work on. i'm far from perfect, but i'm scared to take initiative.

i'm better at caring for other people than i am for myself. i'm always there with support and advice and something silly to make someone smile. but when i'm down i can do nothing but flounder in it. once i lose my footing, it takes forever for me to regain stability. but i'm not a rock and i need to stop acting like i am one.

i think that maybe i'm in love with the process and idea rather than the incarnation.

i say all this, but i doubt i'll ever do anything about it. :\
Current Mood:
weird weird
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[User Picture]
On January 15th, 2004 02:55 pm (UTC), overseer200 commented:
I'm the same way
I can't stand change, least not in the way people would call progress.. I'm just not into destroying the world that way. As for working on yourself, are you sure you need to? You may be hesitant, or unsure.. but who isn't? Love ya the way you are *hugs*
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