seriously, if i were in a movie, it'd have to be in it to. during one of those "omfg... everything is perfect" kind of moments. when the main character realizes that shit has been bad, and may get worse... but right then, at that moment... everything is perfect.
it's about time for a party at my house
and it wouldn't be the same without you
no not at all
as i recall
you've got what i need.
bring along yourself and don't forget that smile
plan on staying a while
til summer turns to fall
as i recall
you've got what i need
you said you were leaving
i said you were crazy
you said that you had some things to do
i'll see you in a while
and don't forget that smile
what else could there possibly be to do?
thank you thank you thank you dave.... for reintroducing me to punk. everthough i haven't talked to you for almost 4 years now, and you're uberchristian.... and you've probably forgotten who i am. you seriously changed my life.
you funny how in the course of a week, your entire life can change so drastically. it only takes one person, with that special spark... and then you've been touched. and nothing is the same.
you know.... when i was younger... i used to think that i had been in love a lot. that i had loved blake... and joe... and all kinds of people. but i think that the first person i loved was, in fact, dave. this sounds so incredibly stupid... because we only had that week together.... but fuck, you just can't feel what i felt for him and not call that love. looking back, i realize that is what i've been chasing.
i've been chasing that spark that i felt on the beach that one night when i saw my first shooting star. i've been chasing that elusive person that makes me feel really alive. alive in a way that is spectacularly painful, like my skin has been peeled away and i can feel each perfect drop of rain that touches me, until i can absorb all the beauty i encounter in everyday life, instead of trying to merely capture it. and keep me there.
something that isn't doomed from the start.
i realize this makes me sound codependent.... and that i've fought all this time to not be codependent... but fuck it. i can be content on my own. but i need people in my life. people that understand me, people that compliment me, people that are my opposite and yet i can respect them because they're not complete retards about it.
i can't sleep. i am rambling. i'm giddy.
i'm sleepy. i'm distant. i'm itchy.
i'm smiling. my cheeks hurt. i fear they may break.
i'm at peace. i yearn. i'm torn.
i'm seriously waiting for livejournal to be able to support making only certain parts of an entry friends only. it'd be much easier than spamming people's friends lists with 20 different entries. livejournal staff: work on this.
i'm listening to the 99x morning show. 99x is just as bad as any "new rock" radio station with the letter x in its title you can think of. but their morning show is fucking hilarious. because of toucher. although toucher was much more funny when he did the late night shit. he makes the morning show tolerable.
i prefer listening to album 88. not because i'm being edgy by listening to the college station.... because i have a weakness for east indian music :\ (fuck you. fuck you before you even take the time out to write "hahahahhahahahha!!!!!!!" in my comments)
i just don't understand how such a sensual culture could have such lame ass music videos. the guys look like tools... and there's way too much choreography. it's like a britney spears video with bindis and mc hammer pants. :\
....wow... this entry is only half useless. i believe i'm getting better. sleepies!