alicia (fuzzdecay) wrote,

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fuck yes! i broke out 40 oz to freedom.

in preparation for summer i always:

  1. start listening to punk

  2. start wearing my sandals again

  3. ride with my windows down for the first time

  4. dig out my sunglasses that look like real glasses

  5. dust off 40 oz to freedom

  6. go swimming for the first time

...i'm hoping to be able to swim a bit when i visit douglas at the end of the month. summer always brings out the best in me... hopefully i'll get out of this depressing introspective bullshit, and slip into more fun introspective bullshit.

i realized, that eventhough i'm now, essentially an adult... and in 9 days i'll no longer even be a teenager... that i'm still the same person i was when i was 17... i'm just a bit better adjusted. i aged like good cheese :)

this money bullshit has beaten me down.... but underneath it all... i'm still that girl that huffed nitrous, filled her mouth with whipped cream with cabbott and dolsen, and attempted to sing santeria. i'm still that happy, funloving girl that would just ride around aimlessly and still somehow find a good time. i'm still that girl that is never so happy as she is on the beach.

i'm just in a bigger place with LOTS more going on. and i let this smother me, instead of enjoying it. i've been so concerned with building a life for myself here, i let money get too important. ....but i'm not meant to live here forever, so... why build a life here? i'm just going to move in a year anyways.

...fuck yes, i'm still that girl.
Tags: becoming an adult, friends, money, self exploration, wistful musings about the past

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