the past few days haven't been all that great. i'm hoping tonight will be better. it's a lot less weird than i thought it would be, staying home. devin got home while i was making dirt cake. he helped me make it. made me feel all maternal, which isn't exactly good. feel older than i am. it's weird cuz everyday feels like a saturday because mom's home all the time now since she had her uterus yanked out. she won't go back to work until right before i move. it seems almost surreal. like i'm living on borrowed time in a way. i can't wait to get out of here, it's so close finally but it feels that time will never come. i hope i'm not disappointed and the one thing i've been wanting for all these years isn't really what i want. i hope i finally find a place where i'm happy.