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i have the net at my house now.... sorta. i'm on one of those gay ass aol trials until i can get cable. but we've lost the cable guy's number and at&t says we can't get it here and we can because the guys across the hall have it. until that shit gets straightened out i'mma be rockin the aol. it's weird not being in a dark ass room on the net. my balcony doors are so bright my background is a bunch of white now. it's nice though. It's cold and drizzly here. it's been cold and drizzly for almost a week now. kinda depressing being outside. the apartment is a mess right now. today is my cleaning day because no one's ever home on fridays and i am until like 2am. I haven't started cleaning yet. I'm actually supposed to still be in school. i skipped out on half of my color and design lab cuz i have a headache. i'm trying to stay offline as much as possible during the day because we only have one phone line. i'm on late at night though... usually. i don't have much time for it anymore. strange not having time for what was once all my life was. it's nice to step away and see how retarded everything is. a lot of things that used to bother me don't anymore. i don't care about what people on the net think of me at all anymore. i'm just here doing what i always have been and if that pisses people off and *gasp* hurts my standing on camwhores, so be it. i've never had a net persona. i think people that do are retarded. the net is where you can be yourself, not put on a front to try to please everyone. it's a good place to vent. being anti-social and bitchy to just about everyone i've met has really worked. i've managed to avoid all the fucktards that my roomates attract. i figure if anyone gets past the bitchiness they're coo enough to befriend. not many people ever make it past the bitchiness. The only friends i have up here are my roomates. i gotta go back to chs and do a presentation for aia before the end of the year. that should be interesting. the last time i was there i really didn't feel like i belonged. i suppose i'll feel even more of that when i go back. i miss my old buddies, the ones that i swore i wouldn't lose touch with and i did anyway. Like April and Dane and all my old group. Not a damn one of them has expended any energy towards me. oh well... i suppose they've forgotten. shit's great with shawn. we've been having all kinds of fun little adventures. I never realized exactly how much better it would be living closer to him. Eventhough a lot of times we just lay around his house and ride around atl. we've ridden aorund atl at least 4 days and we always see something different. This city's fucking huge. If i had a car it'd be a lot better. Marta sucks ass and Rachel is never here and i'm scared to walk through the ghetto so about the only time i do go anywhere is with shawn. i wanna be able to explore on my own sometimes... and i need to get a job. i don't suppose i'll be getting one any time soon though. Even in atl it's hard to get a job if you have bright ass red hair. Such bullshit. like my appearence affects my job performance. i've been rambling for 30 mins now. i think i'm gonna stop. i need to start cleaning. wish me luck.
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