this is going to sound fucking lame and retarded to everyone but me, but i don't care.
i've had this dog named poochy since i was 10 years old. he was a friend of mine's before i got him. she gave him to me when she moved away. he was about 5 when i got him.
the day i got him, i walked him home (without telling my family i was bringing home a dog) with a bag full of his stuff in one hand and his leash in the other and he looked like a little mop at the end of it because they took him to shows (he's a purebred sunspot pekingese) and wouldn't cut his hair off eventhough it was the dead of summer and they kept him outside.
my grandpa told me i couldn't keep him, and it was one of the only times that i completely didn't listen to my grandpa and kept him anyways. he was the first animal that was really mine, and not just my family's.
he used to sleep in my bed and keep me awake all night with his snoring. and i'd play fetch with him, eventhough he never understood the concept of fetch, he just caught the ball and ran away with it and i'd have to chase him down and fight him for it.
he was with me when i moved from douglas to alma. after we moved he'd sit around with me and watch tv or watch me play video games and i'd share my candy and cereal with him. that dog has had the most unhealthy diet ever, he refuses to eat dog food at all.
he's been with me through every single one of my boyfriends and met a good deal of them, and been there for me to cuddle once we've broken up. he's been around my older cousin's entire life.
about 5 years ago, he started losing his memory and would get lost if we let him out to wander on his own, we lost him for 2 months before, until our neighbor found him and returned him to us. when i was in middle school, my aunt ran over him and knocked him in a ditch with me in the car, i skipped school with my mom to run him to the vet (he only had a couple of broken ribs). when i was in highschool, he was bitten by a snake and my grandma thought he was dead and covered him in a blanket and called my mom. my mom took off work and got home to find him still breathing and drove him 2 hours away to a vet that could see him immediately.
lately, he's been going deaf and he's been starting to look old. every time i've visited alma he runs up to see me wagging his tail, and when i unpack will roll around in my clothes because they smell like me. more and more i've noticed that he can't run to see me, he lifts up his head and wags his tail but just can't do it. everytime i leave i hug him really tight because i've known for years now that he's on his last leg, seeing as he's like 16 years old.
my mom called me yesterday and is going to put him to sleep because he's going blind now too, and won't eat. i just saw him a month ago and he didn't seem that bad. this is seriously tearing me up inside because i've had this dog for 11 years. i would have taken him to atlanta with me if i could have. i love him more than i love most of the people i know.
i almost want to go home and see him one last time, but i'm scared he'll be too sick and that's how i'll remember him. i think he would appreciate seeing me though, since he always seems to remember me. i dunno, i've had poochy for over half of my life now and i can't stand to see him go. i've been crying about this all day.
personally, and I've thought about this quite a bit even though my cats are only a year and some change, I can't imagine not being with one of them at the end. I know there's someone in each of them, and I know that, particularly in the face of a nonexistant afterlife, I would want to be with someone I loved at the very end.
basically what I'm trying to say is "not being by her side at the end because you couldn't handle it is very selfish and inconsiderate of your puppy".
but then, that could just be me.
it's such awkward timing on top of my reservations of seeing him die, i'm right in the middle of midterms and i have so much shit due right now.
i swear my month could not get any fucking worse. i've done nothing but cry and be horribly stressed out.
i really just dunno what to do. :\ i want to be there for him really bad because i would feel awful if he wanted to see me or something and never did, but i really don't even know if it would make a difference to him and maybe it would be better if i wasn't just crying all over him at the end, it might stress him out because he always seemed to know when something was wrong.
thats not stupid. infact: i'm now crying.
that dog, you'll probably refer as the greatest dog ever that ever lived, and it'll be true for you. lately, whenever i think about the dog we had when i grew up, i cry--- which amazingly rediculous because he's been gone since i was in grade 10.
i don't think it's ridiculous at all. they really get into your heart. :\
i really wish i could have spent more time with him, and i hope he knew how much i love him and how hard it was to leave him behind when i moved. after visiting my family i'd always cry after i told him goodbye.
:( i'm such a wad of emo. your icon made me smile a bit.
When I went to my parents and found my cat Blossom (lives with them, i didn't want her to go through the stress of moving a new home when i moved, since she likes my parents better anyways) had gained like 10 pounds, i screamed at my mom and then cried, confused how she had changed so much.
HEY! Kurt Halsey is not EMO! his art is just..ok... let me have my lies.. maybe it is emo.. i'm not emo though.. but i do have the pin set with the crabbies in it... so lovely.. oy.. now the pin with the dead bird, which i also have... SOOOOO EMOOOOO. love it.
i wasn't saying kurt halsey is necessarily emo. i was just stating that i'm being emo and that i like your icon :P i like to pretend that you used it because crabs make me happy.
shhh... i actually have a kurt halsey icon too, i just rarely ever use it.
that is not retarded at all.
that dog has been one of your closest loved ones for the better part of your life. and now you're about to say goodbye to him. you grieve and do whatever you need to do and fuck what anyone else thinks.
hell i'm about to cry with you. i can only imagine what you're going through.
That's not lame at all, sweetie. Just because he's a dog doesn't make him any less of an influence on your life.
I was devastated when my cat-of-most-of-my-life died, and I didn't care who knew.
He was your baby, your friend, your twin, and you shouldn't be ashamed of that *cuddles* Only the best people bond so fully with animals anyway.