one of the things i hate most in the world are people that spell it "masterbate"
uuuuu UUUUUU mastUrbate. jesus fucking christ! how can you be post pubescent and not know that???
but the thing i hate absolutely most in the world, more than bible thumping republicans that take away my personal freedoms, more than people that can't spell masturbate, more than the complete inability of anyone in my school to do their fucking job is....
when the two greenlights at an intersection are two different colors of green. i wish everyone would switch over to leds already so i would never see that again.
i'm part of the bad_sex community, which should be called "i'm an idiot that can't work my penis and can't spell correctly" a majority of the time. there are some genuinely good stories, but it's mostly just children that can't spell.
and i realize that people typo but it's a consistent thing with those people.
my worst typo is that i type -ign all the time instead of -ing. but usually only when i'm pissed or excited.
i still haven't learned how to give a proper handy. i went straight into oral and just skipped over the manual stimulation... so... i, in a way, don't know how to work a penis.
but, then again, it's not like i have one. having one and being unable to work it is much, much worse.
i've never had anyone tell me how to do it right. i know there's a grip and some up and down movement involved... but that's it. i have no finesse. :\
i really like playing with them though and batting them around like a kitten (because i'm very easily amused) but then the boy starts expecting more and i can't deliver.
I think the worst mistake a lot of women make is that they go too fast, like they're trying to shake up a frappaccino or something. That's all wrong. Definately move at a sane speed and make sure the bottom of the head gets rubbed by the hand in some fashion. Individual preferences may vary, but that seems to be the basics.
Damn that last statement made me wince! >-<
My kitten tends to grab things in its front paws, bites them and kick the crap out of it with its back legs.
Saying that, it does make for an amusing (if slightly painful) mental picture of you.
yeah, i have another journal where i monitor a bunch o' communities, including bad_sex...and in that journal, i've ranted not only about 'masterbate,' but, and this is a thousand times worse, 'orgasim.' if you can't spell masturbate or orgasm, you shouldn't be allowed to have/do either!
i don't know how i've missed "orgasim". i'm actually kind of sad that i have, i would belittle someone for the rest of their life if i ever saw that.
my favorite part of being in there are all the boys that thing a chick is most likely to get pregnant during her period. i've had i dunno how many anatomy and physiology lessons with some of those fucktards and they just don't listen.
oh! speaking of stupid spelling: pregnate.
honestly, if you're too dumb to spell it, you shouldn't be popping out kids.
You're terribly misinformed. You see, when you spell it masterbate, it means you have mastered masturbating. So those people posting aren't stupid, they're just really good at getting themselves off.
This is of course a total lie.