need a change. i think that's what all of this is about. my life needs to change, like yesterday, and i'm reacting by trying to shut down my page. the one thing that's been constant in my life since i underwent puberty. it's kinda sad that the only thing consistently here for me doesn't exist outside of binaries. i need a life that doesn't revolve around the stupid petty shit that happens in douglas or the imbreds in alma or my ass in this chair. i need a new reason to live. i need a big hug. i will get nothing of this. alicia never gets what she wants.