it sucks not to have a home. i haven't had one since the beginning of the summer. i really don't feel like i belong anywhere. like... there's no space that wants me. it keeps getting worse. now i'm essentially homeless and living here under somebody's good graces. shawn and i share a room now. all of our shit in a 10x15 room. there's not even room to breathe.
i want to find some place to live where i don't have to follow retarded rules or live like a sardine. i want my own home. where i don't have to worry about throwing on a big shirt to run down the hall to piss. where i can sleep and sit in front of my puter naked like i used to. where i don't have to hide my tats because my mom's too scared that grandpa will be pissed at her for letting me get them if he sees them.
i just don't want to feel like that annoying piece of toilet paper that gets stuck to the bottom of your shoe anymore.
looks like i'm not doing anything for xmas.
jason's given me the only xmas gift i'll get for a while. (thnxies) i'm not going home so i dunno when i'll get my family gifts. i don't think i even have room for my family gifts. it'll just be more shit for me to move.
i don't like to have to rely on other people for my wellbeing. i feel so worthless because i can't even go to the store by myself if i need stuff.
merry fucking xmas.
...and god dammit i want some fucking milk.